I do!!! You don't realize how incredibly important it is to survival until you live without it for months at a time in the cold, dark, Ukrainian Winter.
The past 2 days have been amazing. Not only did I see the sun, but it's been 40 degrees Farenheit here. AMAZING (go global warming go :-/)! My sitemate Maita tried to convince me that I've been in Ukraine too long with what I consider "sunny days" but I don't care. In my mind, if it's light during the day at all, even if that great ball of fire is hidden by clouds, it counts.
I may not see it, but I have faith that it exists. That's more than I have a lot of days.
Come quickly, Spring. I miss you.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
I'll give you a raincheck
I'm going to post pictures soon. As well as a post about my winter Ukraine travel adventures. I promise. I just didn't want to write about it without pictures and I can't upload pictures here at the library in Chernivsti. Well, maybe I could if somebody tells me how to burn pictures onto a cd. But until then, it's just whenever I make it to Kyiv to the Peace Corps office and the magical land of USB ports ;) Which I am, in fact, about to do. Next week. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Where's home?
Sorry it's been so long since I've written. After a whirlwind month of traveling, I'm finally getting settled back in to my routine in Chernivsti.
But some things have definitely changed. After spending 2 weeks "back home" in the United States, everyone told me it would be the hardest thing ever to come back to Ukraine. That getting a brief reminder of what life is like would make everything that has become normal to me look even worse. Pleasantly enough, this wasn't true.
I couldn't wait to come back! I wanted to come back to where things make sense to me. Granted I did break up with my boyfriend of 2 years while I was home and in general just had a much different trip than I expected, but going "home" gave me such a different perspective on where "home" really is.
Turns out, I live in Ukraine. Maybe you all have known this for the past 9 months. I knew it too. But I guess I didn't really REALIZE it. I get it now. Up until this point I feel like I was just "waiting out" 2 and a half years. Half of me was still back in the states.
I went back to New Jersey expecting everything to be the same. And for the most part it was. But I wasn't. Stepping back into my old life was a good mirror for me to see exactly how much I've changed. I'm stronger now, more independent. My friends say I'm more irritable and definitely more "East Coast" (turns out Ukrainians and New Jerseyans have more personality traits in common than most people think!).
I went back needing a brief reprieve from the everyday hardships that have become my life. I felt anxious and lonely and just wanted to indulge in the luxury that is the Great United States of America.
What I got was so much more. Sometimes I may feel anxious and weak when Ukrainians are screaming at me in a language I don't understand (in fact in happens every time I go to the post office, often just when I step out of front door!) but now I know I can handle it.
Ukraine may have hardened me in ways I didn't expect, but I needed some hardening up. I know my life is not going to get significantly easier anytime soon, but just realizing these few very important things, has at least made it...worthwhile.
I may have moved to Ukraine 9 months ago, but revisiting my old haunts that I no longer fit into, has really made me see where "home" actually is.
For better or worse, Here I Am.
Welcome Home.
But some things have definitely changed. After spending 2 weeks "back home" in the United States, everyone told me it would be the hardest thing ever to come back to Ukraine. That getting a brief reminder of what life is like would make everything that has become normal to me look even worse. Pleasantly enough, this wasn't true.
I couldn't wait to come back! I wanted to come back to where things make sense to me. Granted I did break up with my boyfriend of 2 years while I was home and in general just had a much different trip than I expected, but going "home" gave me such a different perspective on where "home" really is.
Turns out, I live in Ukraine. Maybe you all have known this for the past 9 months. I knew it too. But I guess I didn't really REALIZE it. I get it now. Up until this point I feel like I was just "waiting out" 2 and a half years. Half of me was still back in the states.
I went back to New Jersey expecting everything to be the same. And for the most part it was. But I wasn't. Stepping back into my old life was a good mirror for me to see exactly how much I've changed. I'm stronger now, more independent. My friends say I'm more irritable and definitely more "East Coast" (turns out Ukrainians and New Jerseyans have more personality traits in common than most people think!).
I went back needing a brief reprieve from the everyday hardships that have become my life. I felt anxious and lonely and just wanted to indulge in the luxury that is the Great United States of America.
What I got was so much more. Sometimes I may feel anxious and weak when Ukrainians are screaming at me in a language I don't understand (in fact in happens every time I go to the post office, often just when I step out of front door!) but now I know I can handle it.
Ukraine may have hardened me in ways I didn't expect, but I needed some hardening up. I know my life is not going to get significantly easier anytime soon, but just realizing these few very important things, has at least made it...worthwhile.
I may have moved to Ukraine 9 months ago, but revisiting my old haunts that I no longer fit into, has really made me see where "home" actually is.
For better or worse, Here I Am.
Welcome Home.
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